Oaklawn bringing Mariel Hemingway to Elkhart for Mental Health Awareness Month

April 24--ELKHART -- When she was a first-grader, barreling down a snowy slope on skis, Mariel Hemingway knew her last name meant something. Her elementary school even had the same last name.

At the time, she didn't completely grasp what it meant to be related to the famed writer, for better or for worse.

Hemingway, 53, released two memoirs earlier in April: "Invisible Girl" and "Out Came the Sun: Overcoming the Legacy of Mental Illness, Addiction, and Suicide in My Family," each recounting growing up in a family plagued by depression, dependencies and seven suicides, including her older sister in 1996.

Hemingway will make a stop in Elkhart on May 15 for a talk at the Lerner Theatre. Oaklawn is bringing her as part of its 16th Spring Spectacular to raise money and awareness about its services and mental health in the community.

Hemingway took some time for a chat with The Elkhart Truth in anticipation of her visit to Elkhart during Mental Health Awareness Month.

A FAMILY LEGACY

Her love for the outdoors isn't the only thing Hemingway inherited from her grandfather. Putting pen to paper, she said, was a therapeutic release of memories.

"There's such an energy when you allow that to happen," she said. "Memories can be scary, but they can't hurt us. They don't have any power over us. When you write them down, it takes that power away."

Hemingway, the youngest of three children, was born in California but grew up in Ketchum, Idaho, where she spent formative years skiing, riding her bike and spending time outdoors.

It was a way to cope with what was going on at home: parents who hurled bottles and angry words at one another after a few glasses of wine, struggles of her own with food and and obsessiveness, older sister Margaux's ascent into fame and descent into drinking, and eldest sister Joan's (lovingly called Muffet) use of drugs.

"For so long, I was surviving," she said. "Those were my survival techniques. It wasn't until I looked back upon my life that I realize nature made me feel better."

Margaux was one of the highest paid models of her time. She made her film debut in "Lipstick," in which Mariel played, ironically enough, her younger sister.

As Margaux became a household name, Hemingway said she began to realize what it meant to be part of the family, as well as the perception surrounding the Hemingways.

"When I made this movie, there was this kind of weird triangulation of (Margaux's) life and how she lived her life" she said. "It started to come together for me when 'Lipstick' came out and I saw how much she was obsessed with that. The thing she was enamored with was something I didn't like."

There's a similar perception about her prolific grandfather.

In "Running from Crazy," a documentary about Mariel's life and family, she visits Ernest's grave, covered with pennies, folded notes under smooth rocks and mini bottles of Jack Daniel's.

"There's a misinterpretation that my grandfather was a great writer because he drank," she told The Elkhart Truth. "He wasn't a great writer because he drank. He was a great writer because he worked really, really hard."

WRITING HER OWN STORY

Hemingway is much more than her past, her last name and her struggles with mental health.

She spends her days touring the country sharing her story or at her California home with boyfriend Bobby Williams, who she said helped introduce her to lifestyle changes like brainwave optimization to connect mind and body.

"I think my late 30s or early 40s, I started to understand lifestyle was a big part of it," she said. "Instead of reacting to what my sister or mother or father were doing, I started to see it as a response -- getting outside, meditation and yoga. Instead of exercise being something I needed to conquer, it made me calm."

Making conscious choices about what she would and would not let define her, she said, was paramount in taking responsibility in her life and changing the stigma about mental illness.

Hemingway said part of being a strong role model and mother to her girls Dree and Langley is accepting that responsibility.

"I had this crap in my life and I am going to deal with it so at least it's not their stuff," she said. "It's not generations and misinterpretations or a weird dialogue."

There are victims of abuse, disease and other maladies, she said, but a step in breaking the stigma about mental health is changing the existing "victim" culture.

"You tell your story. It's not my parents' fault I did anything," she said. "All the choices in my life I made myself. ... This is what I did, it's a part of me and understanding me. If I can get healthy, I invite you to, as well."

A COMMUNITY CONVERSATION

Hemingway sharing her story with the community is only part of the solution to changing the conversation, said Matt Lentsch, executive director of marketing at Oaklawn.

Mental illness affects one in four people at some point, Lentsch said. That reach extends beyond the person who needs help. It seeps into families, work and the rest of the community.

"It's not the topic of conversation you bring up at the dinner table," he said. "We are trying to change that so people feel comfortable talking at a church meeting or a large or small group setting where they could talk about surgery or a broken arm."

Mental Health Awareness Month doesn't start or end with Hemingway's visit. Oaklawn and The Elkhart Truth are working together to share 31 stories from the community about mental health with the hope, Lentsch said, of sparking a much longer dialogue. Not every story has a happy ending, but it's the first step in acknowledging mental health isn't a taboo discussion.

"With that comes the support a community can give," he said.

On May 7 and 8 in South Bend, Oaklawn is hosting a trauma specialist for a professional education event focused on trauma-informed care. For registration or more details, visit Oaklawn's website.

Hemingway's talk begins at 7:30 p.m. Friday, May 15, at the Lerner. Tickets are available on the Lerner's website.

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